I Despise Silence

FACT #1: Courts cannot prosecute child molesters unless the abused child testifies.
FACT #2: (Most) Children of abuse are afraid to testify.



That victims of abuse are afraid to come forward is not a phenomenon unique to our community. Abusers of every stripe and color are known to intimidate their victims into silence, using death threats and serious violence to show that they are serious.

However, it is my community that I worry about; is this where I want my kids growing up? Do I want my kids to be endangered by pedophiles who are free to roam the streets because their victims are afraid to come out and point the damning finger?

We cannot allow an atmosphere to prevail in our community where abused people are made to feel like damaged goods.

I can understand that you don't want to marry people who were abused; who knows what issues they may be carrying with them?

But we cannot afford to act towards these people with discomfort. We must embrace them, and that means talking to them and encouraging them to come forward. We must go with them to court to show our support for them. We must express to them our respect for their strength in coming out into the open. We cannot afford to stay silent!

I can understand that you people who were abused would not want to come forward. And you parents of victims are afraid for the shidduch prospects of your other children. I cannot judge you people, although you are doing their children a grave injustice by forcing them to suffer in silence.

But you cannot afford to allow your child's abuser to stay in the community! Even if you are able to prevent further abuse, your child's sense  of safety and justice will be completely shattered if you allow the abuse to go unpunished!

To all victims of abuse who came forward: You are no longer victims. You are now fighters: for your own sanity, for the safety of all the children in our community, and for the sanity of all the people in our community. Nobody can be completely sane living in a community where known child rapists roam freely. At the very least, it corrupts us when we allow these people freedom. At the very worst, it destroys our community when the ranks of the abused swell daily. Make no mistake: each abuser has many victims. I don't want to say a number, but take a look at Dascalowitz's and Weberman's rap sheets. The accusations are only made by 3 to 5 alleged victims. Can you imagine the courage it took for these victims to come forward? And can you imagine how many more victims are too afraid to come forward?

I hope that the courage shown by these fighters (not victims) will spread to the other victims, and they will also have the courage to become fighters. I hope the silence that lies heavily on our abused children and their families will be shattered by the brave efforts of these fighters. Make no mistake: they are not just fighting their abusers; they are fighting a sickness of our society.

I despise the silence that kills.